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Tuesday, June 22, 2010

The Beef

No, I wont start by saying that I've never done this before because I haven't and I don't feel like saying it.
Does admitting that you have posted an ad on craigslist make you a loser?
Seriously does it?
I cant hear your answer....seriously dude don't play around I cant hear you!
Oh my god!!! have I gone deaf ! damn this !
This is bad, I don't have insurance..I have already sold my brain to the flying capitalist pigs that rule the world....losing my eyes will be too bad.
But wait a minute even if I had insurance...there is no way I'd get my money back.
The flying capitalist pig owns it all...... you don't ever get your money back, you can only spend it.

What do humans desire ? Infinity ?
What do humans need ? Food,clothing,shelter, love..... isn't that all.
There is a conspiracy and we are a part of it.
"I think you might be right" agreed the beef. From his tone you would feel his sense of remorse, but as to why it was that remained a mystery.
" What are you talking..." I tried to question but shut my mouth when I saw out of the corner of my eye, my laptop.
It was perched on top of my dull table.Against my dark room its screen was a sharp contrast,it almost reminded me of a pleasant thing I used to see in the days when I dared to venture out, as I tried to strain my non existent brain I realised that it reminded me of the full moon.
Nay it was my full moon, just as the werewolf transforms on seeing the moon I too start to transform as the screen beckons me always to get my hit.The transformation had begun, the results were always deadly.
I transformed into a being that could run away from everything that was of meaning to any and everyone. As I tried to pull away from my comforting sofa to reach the table I heard a familiar voice.
" Snap out of it boy! " shouted the beef who was now visibly annoyed. I knew he wanted to say something important so I tried to come back to reality.
The beef continued " I was born in spring, I still remember the warmth but more than that I remember the warmth that my mother gave me she loved me,cared for me. But one day they came........the drones they took me away " the beef now broke down completely. His tears now visible, made him even more tender.
"I understand what you are going through" I lied in a attempt to sound interested.
As the sound of bovine sobbing filled the room, melancholy came and sat besides me as she always does.
I whipped up my Ipod-shuffle instinctively and hit the play button.
The sobbing grew louder and louder,in the background Royksopp played his famous song Eple as if to compliment it.
"So Mr. Beef did you have a girlfriend?" I asked to change the topic.
As sharply as a dry twig breaks the crying broke into hysteric outrageous wailing. Obviously I had asked the wrong question.
I could not help but wonder why it happened. Was it a loss of someone, or absence of one.
From the looks of it It was going to be a long night so I quickly settled deeper into my comforting sofa chilling to the beats of Groove Armada playing at the river.
With a grim tone but still sobbing the beef continued "The drone.........*sob* they are horrendous creatures *sob* they took me to a farm far away and fed me my own brethren"
"What!" I interrupted to sound shocked.
"Yes it is true" the beef said to let the truth settle in.
"F**ck the past man" I said.
"You are here now healthy and well, that's what matters doesn't it?" I asked hoping to cheer him up.
"That it correct and I have you to thank, if it wasn't for you I would have died in the endless frozen aisle of doom" replied the beef.
"Oh its nothing..its nothing" I said modestly.
 "OK lets forget about me.Tell me about you?" prodded the beef.
"Umm... what do you want to know?" I asked quite apprehensively as I never like to talk, let alone about myself.
"What kind of girl are you looking for?" asked the beef
"Wow!do you have some kind of clairvoyance?" I questioned unable to comprehend how he figured out my search for a girlfriend.
"Oh that's was easy to figure out, the craigslist personal's page was open on your laptop"
*shuffle* The Knife stabbed me with N.Y. Hotel
"So that why...... anyways my ideal girl should be boring, unhappy, with an inability or unwillingness to connect meaningfully with the world and certainly being paranoid will help" I said quite unassumingly.
"WTF! are you crazy boy" shouted the beef.
Ignoring the beef I continued " I don't want the perfect girl, I just want to connect with someone I can understand"
"You are mad boy! you will never attain happiness this way" claimed the beef.
"No.................... you are the mad one........cow" I silently rested my case.

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